Still at home ...

[julchen11]

I'm still at home, feeling a little weak but not tired !
I had a little writing assistant today - she always makes the vocabulary tests with me - daily *giggles*

I hope all of you are having a lovely day with people around you love !

This is for my dear friend verangel 
Just because ...

"Survival"
Pairing: C/Z
Rating: PG

I’m again the cool guy

people want me to be …

That’s what they see …

That’s what I want them to see.

Even I had to take many steps

back –

I didn’t believe it would be

that hard.

 

They think I can handle

everything

what happened…

So I won’t disappoint them…

 

After the hell of a  day

I’m helpless against what’s coming.

I’m freezing on my way back home,

but the cold ain’t the weather.

 

Nights …

nightmares, fears, panic attacks.

At night I don’t have to hide them.

Because no one’s here.

Never was.

Never will be.

 

It hurts seeing you

with her…

It hurts to know that

you KNOW

you don’t play fair.

 

It hurts the most

YOU know

that I know

the reason…

why.

 

And that there’s nothing I will do…

even if I could.

Maybe it’s for your best.

 

What’s good for me?

Who cares?

No one cares.

No one.

 

So why am I crying?

That you don’t have to do it.

YOUR wounds will heal.

She’ll help you through this –

She…

Not me…

.