I always think I can sense the hand of a poet in your short fics and I see it here.
There's the repetitition, "you're the kind of guy", coming in like a chorus, slipping to "I'm the kind of guy". Shifting subtly and with meaning to "I'm also the kind of man". That "man" is assertively sexual and ups the stakes of this encounter.
Then there's the phrases.
the one who sometimes looks back, but never encourages you beyond the return of your own glance
What a phrase that is. I tried to imagine it, and it reminded me of a mirror, something hard, repelling light, casting back a reflection, yet always fascinating.
I loved this one too: Is there a blinking sign on my forehead with your name on it?
This is brilliant because it summons up the motel where they're probably headed :-)
And especially
You think I’m the kind of guy who just hands all your words back to you in a different order when you try to make conversation with me …
How astute is that? I know people like that!
This is so intriguing because they could be long-time friends, playing mind games with each other, or it could be a met-you-tonight encounter. It crackles with sex and it could end up so many different ways. I burn to know who's talking here, yet I don't want to know. Because either of them could be the sexy hustler, or just that "kind of guy".
no subject
I always think I can sense the hand of a poet in your short fics and I see it here.
There's the repetitition, "you're the kind of guy", coming in like a chorus, slipping to "I'm the kind of guy". Shifting subtly and with meaning to "I'm also the kind of man". That "man" is assertively sexual and ups the stakes of this encounter.
Then there's the phrases.
the one who sometimes looks back, but never encourages you beyond the return of your own glance
What a phrase that is. I tried to imagine it, and it reminded me of a mirror, something hard, repelling light, casting back a reflection, yet always fascinating.
I loved this one too: Is there a blinking sign on my forehead with your name on it?
This is brilliant because it summons up the motel where they're probably headed :-)
And especially
You think I’m the kind of guy who just hands all your words back to you in a different order when you try to make conversation with me …
How astute is that? I know people like that!
This is so intriguing because they could be long-time friends, playing mind games with each other, or it could be a met-you-tonight encounter. It crackles with sex and it could end up so many different ways. I burn to know who's talking here, yet I don't want to know. Because either of them could be the sexy hustler, or just that "kind of guy".
Brilliant!