julchen11: (cat)

Too late ... I'm sorry. But it was fun and now off with me to friend's journals.
Thanks a lot for [livejournal.com profile] aliensouldream for organizing this summer treat!


Title: Climbing
Pairing: C/Z
Rating: none
No beta, all mistakes are mine.


So many things had changed the last weeks, things that had changed him. Day by day.

There are many ups and downs – he had to clear his head and the best opportunity to do just this to him is climbing. Mountain climbing. There is always  a secret doorway at the top of the mountain leading to a secret passageway to the inner worlds, his world. If he can climb the mountain, he always has the opportunity to knock at that secret door and gain entrance to his divine reality.

It always worked.  He always climbs alone. To Stan the effort of the climb up the Mountain simply involves to much stress, hardship and discomfort for comfort-driven souls.

To him it’s a kind of relief … deliverance if not to say. Why does he climb the mountain? Because he feels a pull from it, an irresistible, compelling force - a magical, mystical, mysterious, marvellous magnetism that keeps drawing, ever drawing, his attention inward, upward, onward. Most of the time the pull is inexplicable. It is certainly invisible. It's just there, always there, tugging at the heartstrings of the soul, the conscience, the consciousness. If one tries to pull away, the force pulls harder in return, always redirecting the focus of the attention to the Mountain, to its austerity, to its overpowering and omnipotent majesty and mystery. His soul is always helpless to avoid it, helpless to explain it, helpless to fight it. Helpless is the soul, helpless, and so he looks at the mountain with awe and longing, even fear and apprehension, but, still, he begins to climb, to ascend, to escape, to feel free from the prison that is –at this very moment- the Valley Floor below.

He has free choice to climb the mountain at the pace he likes. He may fall of a cliff and tumble down the mountain. The important thing is to never give up, to pick himself back up and keep on climbing.

His soul soon learns that this is a solo climb. No holding hands here. No travelling buddies. No companions. No partners.  His soul goes alone, ever pulled by the sweet magnetism of the mellifluous melodies within. Up he goes, step after step, falling, stumbling, sliding back a little but regaining its stability and composure and pressing on. It is a snail's pace this climb. Yet, with every micro inch of elevation gained, a whole new reality is gained, a whole new panorama, a whole new consciousness.

The Mountain is there, always there, but few are they that challenge it. The valley floor is familiar, comfortable, secure, filled with people, things, activities, delights - you name it, it's there.

The Mountain is severe. It's steep, slick, cold, uninviting, unfamiliar. Just its overwhelming austere presence is enough to frighten most people away. It takes a great deal of courage to even think of climbing the Mountain, not to mention the energy and time involved in its ascent.

But now it’s time. He packs his backpack, controls his equipment and he waits for his friend, his lover  … to join him. It’s unfamiliar to him, even after many days and nights they’d spent together … this feeling of togetherness. It had shocked him first when he had realized that he never wanted to be alone again, that he never wanted to be without HIM. It was as frightening as it was reassuring. He’d never been someone who’d clung to something or someone. He’d always loved freedom … but now everything had changed. He wanted this man to stay, to spend some time, to spend all time with him. Sometimes he wanted him so badly that it hurt. He was in love with him before he was comfortable saying it. There is something kinetic about him and his being. He calls him sexy, classically – yet, he’s very much a boy in his energy. Great dynamic – oh yes, that it is.

 

He feels he settles into the relationship, and it morphs into just living … breathing. It becomes more and more comfortable, something he can’t give up, as if he ever would give up this. It’s an addict sort of.

Yes, he loves his boy and his boy loves him. That’s why he wanted him to join him, not for climbing just for waiting. It is a wonderful feeling to know someone’s waiting for you.

It WAS a physical mountain first, but now – it’s just there. And he loves every second of it. Every moment. Every move. What is this? Is it this crazy little thing everyone is looking for? He has to smile, his heart skips a beat when he whispers his name, humming a little melody. Where does this come from?

He remembers their first shy advances, their first touches, their first kiss. As soft as it was as strong it was, too.  It had caused to a crack of his neatly built wall and step by step the wall has been gone.

So is this love? It is pure freedom anyway. And happiness? Is it happiness when you feel like bursting, when the world seems to small for your … emotions?

He still smiles. Casey. To him it’s a wonder still that one single person can change him. To the better? Definitely.

 

The doorbell rings. What a wonderful sound. What a wonderful world.

So let’s go! The world is waiting. For him. For Casey. For them.


The End.

Date: 2012-09-01 01:50 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] bellewood.livejournal.com
It's SO good to know that you're still around!!! ♥

Date: 2012-09-01 06:23 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] julchen11.livejournal.com
Thank you so much, Belle! Never ever would I leave this wonderful place and all those wonderful friends!
*hugs very very tight*

Date: 2012-09-01 02:30 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] addie71.livejournal.com
What a lovely, poetic story. It's wonderful to see you here. *hugs tight*

Date: 2012-09-01 06:17 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] lijahlover.livejournal.com
Oh wow this was stunning and so beautiful.

Date: 2012-09-01 08:59 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] gabi-fics.livejournal.com
I adore how you described the mountain and the effect of it on Zeke. Hard and upwards, a need that can't be ignored and that frees his souls. It's like an analogy for his new relationship. Scary and new, so many ways to trip, yet he can't deny it's lure and again it frees his soul. I do love how you write our boys :)

Date: 2012-09-01 11:47 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] romeny.livejournal.com
Makes me remember how poetically you write and how I love it. Lovely hon.

Date: 2012-09-01 11:50 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] bagma.livejournal.com
What a beautiful and evocative description! It reminded me why I'm afraid of mountains, by the way.:) More seriously, I love the way you describe both the climbing of a mountain and the beginning of a relationship. Very deep and poetic. Thank you!

Date: 2012-09-01 12:05 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com
Your fics are always so gentle. :)

Date: 2012-09-01 03:11 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] primula-baggins.livejournal.com
Thank you, Julchen. It's a beautiful story full of many analogies. *hugs*

Date: 2012-09-01 05:21 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] mews1945.livejournal.com
You write such beautiful, lyrical prose. I love the way you describe the mountain, and Zeke's feelings about the challenge of climbing it. It's just beautiful.

Date: 2012-09-01 07:25 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] honeyandvinegar.livejournal.com
Your story-poetry is always so positive, so clean, so clear. I love this!!

Date: 2012-09-02 12:46 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] aliensouldream.livejournal.com
There is always a secret doorway at the top of the mountain leading to a secret passageway to the inner worlds, his world.

Loved this image. You've captured the attraction of a complex soul for the mountain's purity - and savagery. Only the challenge and isolation of the climb can he reach his own inner voice of truth.

That’s why he wanted him to join him, not for climbing just for waiting. It is a wonderful feeling to know someone’s waiting for you.

Yes, it is, and I find it so interesting that he enjoys the distance because of the sweet relief of the reunion.

Beautiful, dear! xxx

Date: 2012-09-02 11:04 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] wiccabex.livejournal.com
I don't get why Stan is in there, but the rest of it was so poetic and captivating!
oh, and
So is this love? It is pure freedom anyway. And happiness? Is it happiness when you feel like bursting, when the world seems to small for your … emotions?

such an important question!

Date: 2012-09-03 07:30 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] verangel.livejournal.com
"It's just there, always there, tugging at the heartstrings of the soul, the conscience, the consciousness. If one tries to pull away, the force pulls harder in return, always redirecting the focus of the attention to the Mountain, to its austerity, to its overpowering and omnipotent majesty and mystery. His soul is always helpless to avoid it, helpless to explain it"
Beautiful, deep, moving and so powerful. This is an incredible peice and I adored it. That Casey is there waiting, the pull and climb to be with him, the symbolization is incredible and I can feel them together always. The joy in their souls. Its wonderful. I am glad to see you. I have been away a lot...so much change and I just didn't have the energy. working on it! Hugs you tons and much love. xoxoox v

Date: 2012-09-09 07:06 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] prisca1960.livejournal.com
ext_146521: (F-Zeke-doppel)
Oh, I still love the way you describe the boys and their deepest feelings. Your stories are always special and so full of love.

Profile

julchen11: (Default)
JudithK

December 2016

S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728 293031

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Mar. 1st, 2026 12:26 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios