It's a birthday

[julchen11]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR lijahlover 

It's a blessing to know you.
You are one of the most wonderful friends I know, always friendly, always caring and so very special.
Have a great day with lots of fun and joy, laughter and love.

Title: Questions
Pairing: C/Z
Rating: G

Your voice never fails to make me tremble.

Even a simple “good morning” sets my heart on fire.

It only needs the slightest touch
makes the ground shake.

What is it that makes me feel like this?

 

What if there wouldn’t have been this horrible day

with Marybeth?

Would you notice me at all?

Would we be as close as we are now?

For our own peace?

Or just because?

Would you’ve been fallen in love with me?

When did this happen at all?

Was it that very day?
Was it earlier …

or later?

 

Even when heat and desire grow

you’re cold.

Even when we are passionate and wild

you’re so very careful.

The radiating heat beneath my fingers,

makes me feel …

special…

needed…

 

beloved…

 

Is it sweat dripping off your face…

Or are this tears?

Tears of joy?

Tears of anger about our lost innocence?

 

You’re so quiet when it comes to love

but that’s  how you are now.

Because now

you care

for someone.

You care for me, Zeke.

 

Please let me help you, too.


Lots of love and kisses,
Julchen


I'm so sorry I can't be around as much as I would like to, it seems RL takes over more and more. But I'll try to be here as much as possible. I'm thinking of my wonderful f-list day by day and I miss you all dearly.

Comments

[lijahlover.livejournal.com]

I miss you too and love you and this amazing poem. It's so beautiful *hugs you close*

[julchen11.livejournal.com]

Awww, I'm so glad you like it, sweetheart! You made my night!

*biiiiiggest hugs*

[prisca1960.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful as ever, Julchen.

And we all miss you, too! Have a wonderful day.

[julchen11.livejournal.com]

Thank you, my dear! Only 2 weeks and then it'll become better (hopefully)!
Have a fantastic night, my dear!

[addie71.livejournal.com]

A lovely birthday gift, sweetheart. I've been wondering where you were.

[julchen11.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you like it, darling. I'll become better in 2 weeks. *hugs tight*

[mews1945.livejournal.com]

This is lovely, Juls, so filled with passion and longing.

Miss you, sweetie. Hope things in RL will get easier so you'll have more time to spend with us.

[julchen11.livejournal.com]

Thank you soooo much, Julia! I'm very glad you like it!

I can't tell you how much I miss my friends here... but only two weeks and then it'll become better!

Love and hugs,
Julchen

[honeyandvinegar.livejournal.com]

Ohhh... oh, oh, oh... *sniffs* This is so sweet, it gave me cavities. :D

[julchen11.livejournal.com]

Awww, my sweetie! I'm very glad you like it!
*hugs my honey tight*

[aliensouldream.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, it's heartbreaking how deeply Casey questions his happiness here.

Would you notice me at all?
Would we be as close as we are now?

So many things turn on chance. Even when destiny seems to play a large part, we're left wondering, what if...? Or maybe it's Zeke's coldness that causes this pondering.

Even when heat and desire grow
you’re cold.
Even when we are passionate and wild
you’re so very careful.

I can imagine Zeke like this. But is he only taking what he wants, jealously guarding his emotions, or is he also confused and untrusting of what it all means?

Is it sweat dripping off your face…
Or are this tears?
Tears of joy?
Tears of anger about our lost innocence?

I'm guessing that the lost innocence here isn't sexual but about the aliens, the discovery that they're alone and disbelieved in the face of near-annihilation, how survival came narrowly and at such cost. That must be terrifying and maybe they are using each other to obliterate that knowledge in lust, to deny everything but the moment.

You’re so quiet when it comes to love
but that’s how you are now.
Because now
you care
for someone.
You care for me, Zeke.

It's in the quiet moments of togetherness, after love perhaps? Then Casey feels he sees the true Zeke, that in that stillness there is caring, understanding. Or maybe he's only trying to convince himself. If he never asks the question aloud, he may never know, but can he risk driving Zeke away with questions? This is the eternal dilemma of love.

Another beautiful musing on our boys. Thank you, Julchen!

[julchen11.livejournal.com]

Wow! Your words took my breath away and another time I don't know what to say.
I'll come back to it, dear. You can count on it.

Love,
julchen